“Kat”sonim troubles – A year in review

While the good people of Sheinfeld have suffered in silence for some time from the aggressive nature of the cats, the news broke nationwide and quickly went global when a little girl was filmed by journalist pleading with her mother not to make her walk past a pach zevel area where cats may have been lurking.  This genuine fear is rooted in months of torment by local cats who have both hissed and spat at young school girls.  “I don’t blame her” said a local martial arts expert  “I wouldn’t walk into a pach zevel area myself. I do all the home chores in exchange for my wife dealing with the trash”

A leading activist/politician who has dedicated much time to protecting the girls of Orot and people of Sheinfeld was very quick to point out that he has nothing against cats in general.  “The vast majority of cats are domesticated” he diplomatically pointed out “They are happy to be around all types of Jewish people and are a great asset to the Jewish nation, their way of life is good and clean, yes they may be a little overly dependent on the generosity of Jews but they do contribute.”  In a scathing response, on the Orot Banot facebook page, an outspoken far right Gad 1 resident pointed out that while the majority of cats in America are domesticated, in Eretz Yisrael this is certainly not the case and these cats have no interest in integrating with society and can be aggressive to anyone who enters their territory and potentially attack anyone in viewing distance. “In short they should all be put down, it’s a doriyta” he declared dramatically.  Additionally, at a recent publicity seeking press conference, the mayor, known widely to be a cat lover, did not lose the opportunity to take a cheap shot at the activist/politician mentioned above, pointing out that he was once witnessed “aggressively” shooing a cat off a dining room chair when all it was doing was sleeping “peacefully”.  

A proactive Sheinfeld resident published a message from his attic office to the townhouse list pointing out that the cats depend on the garbage which the residents dispose of and suggested that all townhouse residents refrain from putting out garbage until the cats change their attitude.  After various shalom biyat issues emerged throughout Sheinfeld it was decided that it would be more practical and hygienic to close the lids of the garbage cans instead.  This approach was adopted until it became clear that 98% of Sheinfeld residents are too squeamish to lift up the lid of a garbage can and garbage was instead being left on the ground next to the garbage cans.

There are various concerns, worries and complaints about the cats.  Residents object to garbage being strewn in the streets when things get out of hand.  Some worry that domestic cats are being negatively influenced, intimidated or bullied by their cousins. Others object to their treatment of females and how many kittens are seen crossing the roads unaccompanied.   There are concerns about the cats moving into and taking over neighbourhoods in Bet Shemesh and others point to the cats’ high birth rate and the possibility of this becoming a national issue. 

One Sheinfeld educator and resident has tirelessly worked hard to build bridges between the various local residents.  A refreshing voice, she insists that stray cats are not vermin and has even pointed to instances of stray cats wandering into the homes of Sheinfeld residents in an effort to reach out to them.  “Even wild cats can be domesticated, it’s an educational issue and if we can reach out to them, especially when they are kittens, progress can be made” she insisted while sitting at the Meuhedit kupat cholim waiting for a tetanus and rabies shot after a botched attempt to build bridges with a feline “friend”.  She held a cross community meeting in her home on motsei shabbos which she claims was going very well until one of the more aggressive cats took advantage of her hospitality and started marking his new territory.  “It took us hours to entice the cats to come into the house with a left over piece of free range chicken from shabbos and then all the conversation was unfortunately one directional until it suddenly ended with the pishing incident”  a jaded neighbour who attended the meeting informed us. 

Cat lovers are now referring to the mayor as the Pied Piper, as they believe that in no time all the rats will leave Bet Shemesh with the influx of many more cats to the new mayor sponsored cat havens.  “In a few years not only will the rodents be gone but a rodent won’t even want to go near this town” one cat lover claimed.  Local residents point out that elections are around the corner and things will be very different when a new mayor comes in.  “It’s only a couple of hundred families of stray cats that are causing the trouble” an optimistic local resident commented “and every dog has its day”.